that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
