You smell like stripper and shame
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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