Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
