She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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