so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize