she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
