He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
