Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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