Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
