no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize