I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
