Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
