i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
