About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
