I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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