so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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