Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
