One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
