Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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