I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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