We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
