How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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