A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
