so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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