Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
