I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Randomize