so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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