using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
