Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
