i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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