Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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