mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
