well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
