Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
