Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
