Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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