If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
