bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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