i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
