If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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