i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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