Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
