p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
