he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
