yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
