my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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