We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
