She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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