I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
