i just google imaged poop.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize