My nipple is on Facebook.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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