watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
