wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize