I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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