I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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