I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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