is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize