are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am available for nakedness
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize