Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
