I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
