At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Less talking, more tequila
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
