I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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