your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
