So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
