You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
