i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
