Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
