My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
