think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
