I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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